remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
