Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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