I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
