btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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