why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
