it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.