she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
