lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
