remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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