how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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