addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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