it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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