Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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