there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
