ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
