sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize