I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
