it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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