i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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