she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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