We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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