Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
