there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
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I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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