there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
