I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shattered a urinal.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize