I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
