where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
