I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
