I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
