Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
