You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
