i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Houston, we have a blender
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
