He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
