Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize