We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
