If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
