Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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