this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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