You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
