Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
