I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
