He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
someone owes me an orgasm
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
