So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
