it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
