I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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