Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
