It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
