My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
