I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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