Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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