If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
