office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
