Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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