this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
