I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
only you would photoshop your dick
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
