bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
