wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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