Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
