She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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