it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize