I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
