I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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