Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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