She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
