Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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