At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she told me i tasted like america
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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