he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
